At the Centre of the Compass

Morena:

A number of you asked to see  our  South African wedding ceremony, so it is posted here.

Heather found the ceremony out in the  (Internet) wild were inspired to adapt parts of it. The individual texts were brought to the ceremony by each ofthe peoplewho read them.

We wrote our wedding vows apart from each other , then incorporated them into the ceremony. They thus represent what each of us felt towards each other and the journey we were about to undertake.

Having had the joy and honour of its use, we would like to re-release it into the wild for the use of anyone who may want to use/adapt copy it.

It goes with our blessings.

whano, whano

Hara mai te toki

Haumi e, hui e

tai ki e.

Heather McLeod and Tony Bridge Marriage Ceremony

In the Labyrinth at Lemoenshoek, outside Barrydale in the Klein Karoo

Saturday 8 May 2010

Performed by Dominee Nico Weeber of the Dutch Reformed Church

What is a Labyrinth?

We are all on the path… exactly where we need to be[a]. The labyrinth is a model of that path.

A labyrinth is an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It combines the imagery of the circle and the spiral into a meandering but purposeful path. The Labyrinth represents a journey to our own centre and back again out into the world. Labyrinths have long been used as meditation and prayer tools.

A labyrinth is an archetype with which we can have a direct experience. We can walk it. It is a metaphor for life’s journey. It is a symbol that creates a sacred space and place and takes us out of our ego to “That Which Is Within.” [b]

Walking into the Labyrinth

The guests walk the path into the Labyrinth, with Nola in front, followed by Nico, Shivani, Kim, Elize, Brenda, Marthie and Alex, with their partners and children. Heather and Tony follow at the rear after the other guests who want to walk the Labyrinth.

As Nola gets to the centre, she lights the candle on the stand in the centre. She takes a stick of incense and lights it at the candle. She places the incense in one of the flower pots and then turns to help the others as they arrive. Each guest takes a lighted stick of incense, places it in a flower pot of their choosing, and walks to the edge of the centre, leaving room for those still arriving.

As more people fill up the centre, so the last people will be walking the outer rims. Those in the centre can now move back into the first inner rings of the labyrinth, to leave the centre clear for Nico, Tony, Heather, Alex, Shivani, Kim, Elize, Brenda and Marthie. Chairs will be brought up for those needing them and placed in a circle around the first ring.

In the Centre: Introduction

Nico: Welcome …

Nico: Heather and Tony are happy today not only because they can share the joy of their love for each other with friends and family standing around us, but also because they have the opportunity to express their aspirations for the future.

This ceremony today, as written by Heather and Tony, is based on a Buddhist wedding ceremony[c]. Buddhism is a path of transformation of inner potential, a path of enlightenment and a path dedicated to serving others. Marriage is seen as a vehicle to practice serving others and requires the equal commitment to the happiness of your partner, to your own and your partner’s  spiritual growth.

Readings

Nico: Heather and Tony have asked five friends and his son to each prepare a reading, something to share with us today.

Shivani Ramjee:

(From “Ocean Sea” by Alessandro Baricco, with lots of editing)

And so they went down to the sea in the gentlest way possible – borne by the current , along the bends, pauses, and hesitations that the river had learned in centuries of journeying ; a great sage, the river was the only one who knew the gentlest, mildest, most beautiful way one could get to the sea without harming oneself. They went down the river, with that slowness determined precisely by the maternal wisdom of nature, slipping gradually into a world of odours and coloured things that day after day, revealed, with extreme slowness , the presence, at first distant and then ever nearer, of the enormous womb that awaited them. Water slipping toward water, a most delicate courtship , the bends of the river like a lullaby of the soul. An imperceptible journey.

How fine it would be if, for each sea that awaits us, there were a river, for us. And someone – capable of taking us by the hand and finding that river – imagining it, inventing it – and placing us on  its flow.  This, really, would be marvellous. Life would be sweet, any life. All that is needed is someone’s imagination – someone. He would be able to invent a way , here, in the midst of this silence, in this land that will not speak. A clement way, and a beautiful one. A way from here to the sea.

Kim Lowenherz:

Marriage gives you roots and then gives you wings.

Elize Delport:

This is from Love letters in the sand – the love poems of Khalil Gibran:

“Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings

its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

and to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give

thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in

your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.”

And, from the same collection:

“Love one another,

but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between

the shores

of your souls.”

Brenda Greyling:

“May the tapestry of your lives be woven

with rosy threads of love,

the deep reds of passion,

the quiet blues of understanding

and contentment,

and the bright, bright silver of humour”

May you live each day

Compassionate of heart,

Gentle in word,

Gracious in awareness

Courageous in thought,

Generous in love.

Alex Bridge:

From the Love Poems of Rumi, edited by Deepak Chopra

The Privileged Lovers

The moon has become a dancer

at this festival of love.

This dance of light,

This sacred blessing,

This divine love,

beckons us

to a world beyond

only lovers can see

with their eyes of fiery passion.

They are the chosen ones

who have surrendered.

Once they were particles of light

now they are the radiant sun.

They have left behind

the world of deceitful games.

They are the privileged lovers

who create a new world

with their eyes of fiery passion.

Marthie Momberg:

I quote from an interview between Russell DiCarlo and Richard Tarnas:

“In order to have a marriage, you have to have a differentiation for the two to come together autonomously and join with one another in an act of love. This is also true for the human being in relationship to the divine and in its relationship to the world: that having fully differentiated itself, it is now in a position to embrace the matrix of its being freely and consciously. “

In other words, it’s about a harmonious co-existence of freedom and love.

“Having achieved our freedom, we are now in a position to embrace the whole which will preserve autonomy while also transcending the alienation that has been the downside of our forging an autonomous self.”

By choosing to marry, we have an opportunity to overcome the loneliness of autonomy and the struggle of dualism. We choose love and we choose to recognise the other as part of ourself. This allows us to be free while we are together.

Vows

Nico: Introduce vows … nature of marriage.

[Heather will have carried a rose quartz heart into the Labyrinth. She turns to Tony and holds out her hands with the heart. He folds his hands around hers.]

Shivani: Heather and Tony, do you pledge to help each other to develop your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration and wisdom as you age and undergo the various ups and downs of life and to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity?

“We do”

Kim: Recognizing that the external conditions in life will not always be smooth and that internally your own minds and emotions will sometimes get stuck in negativity. Do you pledge to see all these circumstances as a challenge to help you grow, to open your hearts, to accept yourselves, and each other; and to generate compassion for others who are suffering? Do you pledge to avoid becoming narrow, closed or opinionated, and to help each other to see various sides of situations?

“We do”

Elize: Understanding that just as we are a mystery to ourselves, each other person is also a mystery to us. Do you pledge to seek to understand yourselves, each other, and all living beings, to examine your own minds continually and to regard all the mysteries of life with curiosity and joy?

“We do”

Brenda: Do you pledge to preserve and enrich your affection for each other, and to share it with all beings? To take the loving feelings you have for one another and your vision of each other’s potential and inner beauty as an example and rather than spiralling inwards and becoming self absorbed, to radiate this love outwards to all beings?

“We do”

Marthie: Do you pledge to continuously strive to remember your own Buddha nature, your own Christ nature, as well as the Buddha nature and Christ nature of all living beings? To maintain the awareness that all things are temporary, and to remain optimistic that you can achieve your greatest potential and lasting happiness.

“We do”

Alex: When it comes time to part, do you pledge to look back at your time together with joy–joy that you met and shared what you have–and acceptance that we cannot hold on to anything forever?

“We do”

[The rose quartz heart is handed to Nola to hold.]

Nico: The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in partnership. [Alex hands the two rings to Nico]. Heather and Tony have designed rings that have meaning to them..

[Nico hands Heather Tony’s ring]

Heather: We each have a ring, the wholeness of the ring representing the One, Unity, the All-in-One, God. Each ring has two solid bands representing the duality of the world. These two bands enclose three strands woven in three different colours of gold (yellow, white and rose gold).

[Nico hands Tony Heather’s ring]

Tony: The three strands have multiple meanings for us: body/mind/soul; the Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Ghost; the three Hindu manifestations of Brahma, Vishnu and Siva; the Buddhism trinity; your path/ my path / our joint path; past/ present/ future; and in lo Matua Kore, the ancient Maori spiritual tradition, the three baskets of knowledge: power, wisdom and love.

Tony: Dearest Heather, we have travelled a long distance to this moment . Each of us has travelled a different path, fought our own battles, made our own mistakes and learned our own lessons, but here today our roads become one. Here today we move from our individual journeys to a mutual and shared one.

Today, in this place, at this time, before our friends and our Father, I stand and offer you myself without condition or expectation. I ask that you join with me, that we intertwine mind, body and soul, that we may become one, so that we may be of greater service.

Before God and before our friends I offer you all that I am. I will love, honour and cherish you. I will be your friend, lover, husband, and soul partner. I will be your guide and teacher when you need me to so be, a candle in the darkness when you have need of one.  I will be the rock on which you can stand, a place of security, safety and certainty.

Heather Diane McLeod, will you have me?

Heather: My Dearest Tony, Radiant Divinity that you are. We met here at this Labyrinth. We met in Spirit and realised that we had known one another many lifetimes. We then made the connection mentally and then emotionally and only finally in these, our physical bodies.

It is a great joy to me that we have felt called to renew our connection and to formalise that connection in our physical bodies today. Yet at its deepest level our connection is a spiritual one. The great gift you give me every day is to make me realise that I am not a human being having occasional spiritual experiences, but rather a spiritual being having this human experience.

Before God and before our friends, I offer you the greatest gift I can – to be truly, completely and honestly me. I will be your friend, lover, wife and soul partner. I will constantly seek to remove any impediments to the flow of Universal Love so that we can channel that Love in order to be of service to others in the Light.

Anthony Charles Bridge, will you have me ?

[Heather and Tony exchange rings]

Pronouncement

Nico: By the power vested in me through ……., the wishes of Tony and Heather, as well as the blessing of all of their friends gathered here today, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.

Nico: Ladies and Gentlemen please join me in congratulating Tony and Heather, Mr. and Mrs. Bridge. [To Tony] You may kiss the Bride.

Congratulating the Couple and Leaving the Labyrinth

The guests, led by Nola and Alex, walk forward to congratulate Heather and Tony. Marthie, Shivani, Kim, Brenda, Elize, her daughter Malaika, and their partners do so as well. Rose petals are available in the centre to throw over the couple.

Nola then begins to lead the walk out of the Labyrinth, followed by Nico. As the first people leave they will be walking the outer rims. Those in the first inner rings of the labyrinth centre can now move back into the centre.

At the exit, Malaika offers a basket of small individually-wrapped pieces of wedding cake.

The guests all come forward in turn to congratulate Heather and Tony in the centre, throw rose petals and then follow Nola and Nico out of the Labyrinth. Heather and Tony douse the candle and then walk out at the rear.

[b] http://labyrinthsociety.org/download-a-labyrinth

[c] Created by John Karuna Cayton for the wedding ceremony of Bonnie Le Boeuf and Robert Baptist, May 2002. Inspired by Lama Thubten Yeshe when he performed the wedding ceremony for Karuna and Pam Cayton.